Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
