Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
