I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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