Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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