I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
