Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What changed your mind?
Being sober
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
