I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just saw a hot homeless man
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
