some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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