We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
