Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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