it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
