It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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