my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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