She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize