My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
