is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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