Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
