The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
