I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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