i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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