Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
