why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
