You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
