You're completely useless in the revolution.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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