She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
