just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
