She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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