when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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