Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
