im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Every concussion has its silver lining
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
