You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
