If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
