can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
