party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize