Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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