Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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