remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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