No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Found the puke drawer
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
