i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
