return my video game
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
