did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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