If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
