He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
