Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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