don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
