Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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