It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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