Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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