Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
