I'd wear matching sweaters with you
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
